Friday, 23 January 2015

How To Change Your Life in Three Seconds

Friday, 23 January 2015
My motto: Take three seconds, then be brave.

That's how I get through so much shit that happens. Otherwise I'm frozen in fear and unable to get anything out of my mouth, other than the CO2 that it produces. I'll stand there, so awkward, and just stare at someone. It's really weird if you're the person I'm trying to talk to, and it's super embarrassing for me. So I took upon myself a task to find a way to communicate things I didn't want to, or was frightened to. I'd actually completely forgotten about the goal I'd set until one day it just hit me (when I was trying to get words out of my mouth, yet again).

Sam, take three seconds. Take three seconds to calm down, three seconds to compose yourself. Take three seconds to gather yourself, then be brave. And speak.

And that's exactly what I did! I spoke! Because I didn't think - thinking was for the three seconds before. When those three seconds ended, I had to just shut off my brain, kick it to the side, and let my heart decide. Let my bravery take control. How else can I get things out? Logic? As if. No, I have to be brave... and the bravery that I've acquired over the past two years or so of using that motto have turned me into someone who takes a stand instead of lying there while people walk over me. I'm now the person that will always try and stand up for what I believe in. I may not always use the right words, and sometimes I'll just screw everything up, but that's okay. I'd expect that to happen. But there's also times when I can win against this stupid social thing we have going (no, I'm not one of those I-hate-society-ugh kinda people (though props to them), but I do think a bit of society's ideals are just idiotic. Like a third. Okay, maybe half... like 70-percent). Now I've forgotten my trail of thought . . .

Moving on to the main point of this post, my new novel! If you read my last/first post, you'll (probably not) remember that I said new year, new novel. The above anecdote (some may like to call it bullshit) was what inspired this new novel. 

It's a contemporary piece, that I hope be just above 50,000 words. I know, some people hate novels that are so short, but I think it would be a good word count for this new novel, appropriately titled Three Seconds to Brave, the same title as an old poem I wrote. 

Three Seconds to Brave follows three best friends . . . who have no clue that the others are hiding secrets just as big as theirs. Basically, all their lives are about to go to shit and they'll try and keep it to themselves because they can handle it and don't want to be looked at differently. Stupid characters. They should know by now that sharing is everything! But they don't, and that's the problem. Kinda. Not really. The problems are the shit going down in their lives.

One's dealing with home issues. One's dealing with sexuality in a small town. One's dealing with possibly being drugged and raped. 

So, as you can see, this novel is going to be pretty... well, real is the only word I can think of. As in, it's real to today. To what's happening in the world. The dealing with sexuality thing is a huge one for me, as I had to do that. And right now I'm trying to start the second chapter... Owen's chapter (name-drop). And I just can't, because I have to do him justice and I owe it to myself to not just be another gay story, but a damn proper stab-your-emotions-show-you-the-truth tale of teenage life. Writing his piece is going to bring back so many good and bad memories - I'm going to be exhausted by this novel, and that's just because of Owen. 

If we move on to the rest, like Hannah (oops, another name-drop), the girl who's dealing with home issues, then I realize this book is going to take a lot of energy. It's so relevant to a good few of my friends and that's a scary thing to get into. Because while I'm writing it, I know I'm going to be thinking of my friends and what was happening to them behind closed doors . . .

Then there's Jennifer-Dhenise . . . that poor girl. She doesn't know what happened, it's just a blur. But she knows that we woke up feeling sore and bloody. That there were bruises in places that there shouldn't be. Something about her story . . . she's trying to figure out what happened - she has no clue. Wanna know something? Neither do I. I haven't written in my outline whether something happened to her or not. It's blank. Because when it comes to her - the answer, I mean - I want to be just as shocked or relieved as she is.

I said last week that I'd tell you guys about my new novel, and I sort of did. But I want to leave some for the future, when I'll share more posts on my writing. I need something to blog about . . .

I'm not sure what I'll be blogging about next week, but it might be the monthly theme, Carving Your Way Back In (we incorporated carving into all the themes because we're awesome), where I'll tell you how I get back into writing after a long period of absence (thanks, life and lack of motivation). Hope you enjoyed this post, and if you have anything to add, comment!

Sam

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